Do your kids spend too much time with their faces buried in something electronic? A Nintendo DS, an iPod, or a DVD player, perhaps? Well, yank it away and rip out the batteries. I've got a way for you to kick 'em outside that they'll actually like!

　　Kids need physical activity. Lots of it. And all the gizmos and gadgets they have today keep them from getting it. Not like when YOU were a kid. Outside was where you WANTED to be. Crawling around in hay bails, playing tag or hide and seek, kicking the can, riding your bike to your best friend's house a few blocks away. . .

　　But today, it's digital pets, MP3's, and Webkinz for the younger kids, and Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter for the older ones. 16-year-olds are increasingly putting off getting a driver's license because they have a smartphone. A PHONE!!!

　　Enough is enough. Do something truly good for your children and buy my trampoline. They won't quite give up their gadgets, but it'll be a whoooooole lot easier to pry the kids away from them.

　　This "Airzone" trampoline is a stunning 16 feet wide. . .it would take three of me laid out horizontally to touch both ends. Why is bigger better on a trampoline? Well, let's just say that kids need all the space they can get when they're bouncing every which way. And they'll want to have a couple of friends in there with 'em.

　　It also includes a full net enclosure. Ain't NO ONE falling off this bad boy. It has a neat little zippered door to let the tykes in and out, or the teens, or the tweens. And yes, they will ALL love this trampoline. At the same time, even. I watched this thing conquer an awkward age difference between my 8-year-old daughter and the 13-year-old neighbor girl. They started by jumping together a few times, then moved on to doing lots of stuff together. It was truly amazing.

　　(Never buy a trampoline without an enclosure. . .your home/renter's insurance won't cover it, and they can deny any claims you make if a trampoline is on your property without one!)

　　Worried about the metal springs? WHAT metal springs? No such thing here. This trampoline uses safe, completely harmless elastic bands to induce ear-to-ear smiles and giddy shrieks in bouncing children. They're strong, heavy duty, and perform just like springs, but with no danger of pinching. They're also close together and fully covered, so little legs can't fall through.

　　A sedentary lifestyle is a death wish. Literally, I'm not kidding. The human body was built to MOVE. A secretary is several times more likely to get heart disease than a mail carrier. Did you know that? It's no wonder heart disease is the leading killer of Americans. We've become a sedentary people.

　　sed?en?tar?y

　　?sedn?ter?/

　　adjective

　　1. (of a person) tending to spend much time seated; somewhat inactive.

　　synonyms: sitting, seated, desk-bound, stationary

　　Don't let that happen to your beautiful children. Buy my trampoline. It'll help them to enjoy getting outside and moving and exercising, and that just might put them in the right frame of mind for the rest of their lives. Exercise is so, so important, and I know you want your kids to be happy and healthy. This trampoline will do both. It sure worked for my 8-year-old.

　　In fact, a new study of 11-year-olds has found that moderate to vigorous exercise was associated with increased academic performance in English, Math, and Science. These gains from exercise were also seen in exams taken at 16-years-old. And it's all because you bought this trampoline.

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　　I'd be lying if I said this thing wasn't a hoot for grownups, too. My wife and I would sneak out at night to jump in the dark. Hop on yourself for a few minutes, and you'll see just how many calories this sucker burns off. A few minutes and we'd both be laughing hysterically and panting like pooches! So we'd just collapse onto the mat and catch our breath, laying together under the stars, looking up at the big dipper. (It was actually pretty romantic. It would sometimes lead us back inside for other forms of. . .um. . ."exercise".)

　　By the way, the picture above is obviously not my exact trampoline. I decided to sell it AFTER I took it down, so mine is stored in the garage right now. It'll be a quick and easy load into your vehicle (even a small car would hold this thing easily). But this is roughly what it looks like fully assembled. When it's collapsed for winter storage, it takes up surprisingly little room.

　　Nothing is missing from the whole package. I'll give you a screwdriver, the tool for attaching the elastic bands to the frame, and even a set of new screws I just bought to assemble the base. Plus I'll show you exactly how to put it together. . .it's very, very easy. I can do it myself, and it's super fast with a helper.

　　The straps securing the net to their poles wore away quickly, so I replaced them with small pieces of metal chain. They're even more secure now than 3 years ago when this thing was brand new. Overall, it's in great shape, and ready get your kids' heart rates up.

　　I want your kids to be active and healthy, and I want them to have a blast on this trampoline like mine did. Shut off the devices and get rid of the haunting glow of LCD screens. Send your kids outside into the natural light of the sun to jump on this trampoline. The screams of surprise and delight will reassure you over and over again that it was worth it. Your back yard will never be the same.

　　9 -ty nine bottles of beer on the wall.

　　2 turtle doves.

　　0 to dial the operator.

　　9 lives for every cat.

　　1 is the loneliest number.

　　2 is the loneliest number since the number one.

　　7 ate nine.

　　2 out of three ain't bad.

　　0 is both a number and the numerical digit used to represent that number in numerals.

　　4 crying out loud, you get that this is my phone number, right?

　　Yes, you can call or text me.

　　Yes, I'll respond to emails too.

　　You want this trampoline. You need this trampoline. But your kids want it too, and they need it even more. Call me before someone else snatches it up!